lost

hes gone, hes not there, he never was? was he? i cant believe this is happening! i neverrr did anything, she screwed it up for me and my (WAS) i thought best guy friend?!?!?!?!?!? pshhh joke. i have to get over it hes just a guy............ we went through everything and really did that first thing screw us up for ever?!?!?!?!?!? id like to know what i did.......... really i do.........

im lost more than ever. why is everything bad happening now??!?!?!? i never did anything wrong!

im gonna miss him.

Where are you?

I recently have been thinking.... things arent how i thought they were things were all good then BOOM nothings right. im taking pictures outside and think what can i do. i kneel to the ground and look up...... whos up there who would make things better.... not only god but i know hes watching... my pap*... i lost him in 1999 and every so often i think wow he was the only pap and i miss him and get upset. but i just realized that hes always watching me and hes so proud of all his grandchildren.... that year he died i was in kindergarden, it was hard on me but i had my bestfriend on my side who made everything okay he always knew that would make me happy and since then we drifted away. but the memories of my pap will never drift from me. he was my favorite the only one i knew........ i took that picture for him, thinking of him the whole time. my mom doesnt know why i did it, i havent yet told her, i have written poems about how he was the best and the cancer finally took him=[ ever since then i look at the picture of me and him and my grandma and im not the happy girl i use to be. idk why its hitting me now how much i miss him but he was the only one i had, hes my pappy. i love him

R.I.P. PAP<3

i dream of the day ill be in heaven with you

Florida

Everyday I think only a couple months until i get to be with them, The people i call my second family..... i dont know where i would be without them, lost thats where. When i'm with my little sister i feel like nothing else in the world matters, even just texting or talking on the phone. and when i come to hard times in my life... i think all i wanna do is be with her and nothing would be wrong. Yesterday was pretty amazing i got to talk to momm*, aunt elizabeth* and catherine all at different points of the day. it was nice catching up with them all it just makes me wanna be there more tho when i know school has to end before i see them. this family is amazing and honestly those 2 weeks with them are the best two weeks out of the whole year......

I love you guys soo much!

Meghan- My true bestfriend! Shes amazing and i can always tell her things and ask her for advice on anything i need. Shes practically my sister shes my other have. Nothing can explain her


Tyler- My best guy friend this kid and me have been through so much and just talking this year(all because of chorus) We have had really bad times but the good always beat those. He is there for me when ever i need him he means the world to me, nothing can ever seprate us. After homecoming party at Roberts we could relive all the time and never get bored of it!


Brandy- Another one of my best friends, we have become close these last two years and ur another one whos always there for talking and we have great times together. New Years was amazing! Lunch with our guys is so much fun a new story everyday... its so much than sitting with girls*


Brendon- My second brother. what all can i say about him to explain him. Well ill start small. He could be my brother. i would adopt him i love him and his family OH so MUCH! they are my life! i would do anything to be with them all the time. Well about brendon hes amazing always there for advice and willing to listen to his little "sisters" problems. his advice always doesnt work out the best but we both get a kick out of it. So we "fight" a lot and it gets out of control but its always a laughing matter!!!! Brendon florida was great with you but just being with the whole family was amazing...... I give so much credit to Brendon he is in basic training for the Navy and hes doing well so far and looking great=] I love you brendon...... Be safe<3

New years

I have to say New Years was amazing. i spent it with my one bestfriend and a whole bunch of guys=] haha we were out numbered because of the families all having boys! anyways well to start off to say about the night we had a lot of fun and missed the ball drop because of a child name Johnny well hes not a child but a 13 year old. he thought it would be funny to pause the tv the first time so we rewinded it to watch it and he decided to just turn the tv off! ughh but yeah that was my new years!