Where are you?

I recently have been thinking.... things arent how i thought they were things were all good then BOOM nothings right. im taking pictures outside and think what can i do. i kneel to the ground and look up...... whos up there who would make things better.... not only god but i know hes watching... my pap*... i lost him in 1999 and every so often i think wow he was the only pap and i miss him and get upset. but i just realized that hes always watching me and hes so proud of all his grandchildren.... that year he died i was in kindergarden, it was hard on me but i had my bestfriend on my side who made everything okay he always knew that would make me happy and since then we drifted away. but the memories of my pap will never drift from me. he was my favorite the only one i knew........ i took that picture for him, thinking of him the whole time. my mom doesnt know why i did it, i havent yet told her, i have written poems about how he was the best and the cancer finally took him=[ ever since then i look at the picture of me and him and my grandma and im not the happy girl i use to be. idk why its hitting me now how much i miss him but he was the only one i had, hes my pappy. i love him

R.I.P. PAP<3

i dream of the day ill be in heaven with you